If you remember bits of your childhood, you occasionally scroll over flashbacks of those gleeful memories in your mind of the magical land where no worries existed. It is almost impossible to recall an uneasy moment from childhood with all the lemons that growing up throws at our face.
The worst part – the more we age, the more our problems seem to increase in number. And severity.
You’ve been told that you’re not alone. You’ve also been told that thousands or even millions have faced the problem you’ve currently been facing and they got through life just fine. You’ve witnessed people who have worse problems than yours. Still, your own problems appear awfully big and overwhelming, and you fail to find a way around it.
Although the empowering words you hear from people while in trouble sound and feel good temporarily, they do not lend a direct hand when the time comes to tackle your problems. It’s all you.
You will come across some people who simply think that they are the best that has ever set foot on the planet, and talk like they climbed out of a dumpster and built a million-dollar company. They’ll whine about their problems like their life is an Oscar-winning movie. Yes, there exists a class of this kind of humans – called narcissistic bitches.
We are social beings and like it or not, it is more than necessary to interact with other people in this modern social construct. A society cannot function without effective communication between individuals. Some say that it is the gift of human life to be able to socialize, that our ancestors discovered means to communicate and build a productive chemistry among themselves. Ask your teenage cousin if he rather would’ve hatched out of an egg.
Most of our lifestyle is influenced by other people, including our behaviour, our likes and dislikes, even our thought processes. Due to a large number of factors contributing to the behaviour of people, some people are hard to deal with. Now you might rule that a big majority of problems are created because it is difficult to deal with people, and you have social anxiety and all that crap. Whereas, it is your own thoughts and actions that shape your immediate reality.
While your thoughts and actions make you who you are, your emotions play a huge role on the decisions you make and some of us have been in awkward social situations or have even come across problems the size of Kanchenjunga as a result of actions driven by spurts of anger or jealousy or any other destructive emotion. And the outburst takes less than a fragment of a second. So much can be avoided if that second is allowed to pass.
Consider these two scenarios:
I once noticed that I felt a tiny jolt of an electrical impulse (I guess) at the side of my forehead when the store clerk of BigBazaar handed me Chocoliebes instead of change. The amount of anger I felt was so low that I didn’t even seem to give it another thought because of predetermined factors like the amount of change I was supposed to receive and well, the store clerk was pretty.
That anger was not given value by being acted upon and it was not repressed, it was simply let go. It created no problems.
But imagine someone (say Mike) had a bad childhood and his mom smokes thirty cigarettes a day. His relationship is falling apart and he’s drowning in debt. He feels powerless. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot let his negative feelings simply slip away.
Mike now wants to get rid of that anger he has against life’s problems. He finds out that punching his bedroom wall doesn’t work, his hand hurts and his knuckles have turned blue. He walks towards the bar and attempts drinking his problems away, assuming they’re lodged in his throat and somehow, five beers seem to do it.
But he wakes up with a hangover and the same problems he previously had. Those hangovers gradually become a habit and they push life’s problems to be dealt with at a later date, but his reports show that he has a bad liver. What next? His repressed anger strikes against himself from the inside and he plunges into depression.
Losing ourselves in lustful pleasures doesn’t magically drive problems away, it creates more problems. Tackling them with a robustness of character and not avoiding dealing with them quickens your pace in your pursuit of, well, whatever it is you’re pursuing.
Since I’ve blabbed a little too much about problems, it’d be a stalemate if I didn’t add one or two things about solving them.
You might’ve heard that most people believe to have two minds, not one.
Let’s call them Tick and Tock.
Tick is the rational guy, who reminds you that you’ve already downed nine shots and another one might cause you to miss work tomorrow. It makes you handle situations logically and can be trusted upon more than tock if you are to make an important decision which requires profound analysis.
Tock, on the other hand is the touchy-feely kinda guy, and often runs rampant with the chemical ups-and-downs that take place in your body. It is also responsible for your creative and intuitive abilities.
In short, tick is the knowledge mind. Tock is the feeling mind. Tock can be dangerous as it is erratic and can destroy you lest it control you. But exercising the reasoning prowess of tick into observing the whereabouts of tock will make you aware of your character, in what ways you’re full of crap and in what ways you’re awesome.
However, there is the wise guy, who can only come along if Tick and Tock are allowed to flow about in a precise harmony because you are the product of your two minds; we all agree that calm is healthier than chaos.
Once you smoothen the harmony between the two minds, they will flow along time like the hands of a clock (seriously). Tick-tock, tick-tock. You gradually learn to break the worry habit and skid through life’s problems like they weren’t even there.
If you ever feel overwhelmed, remember that time passes and you will exist as nothing but specks of dust after some years. Live the moment.