Motivational books do not understand how hard it is to just do it. If you could just do it, you wouldn’t be needing any motivational books. So what’s the point of all the self-help anyway? We are well aware that the answer to all our problems is taking action to solve it, but why is it easier said than done?
I think that all these motivational poems, posters, social media posts and books that we find everywhere are making people even lazier. Ever stopped and wondered whoever made motivation a business idea was perhaps very lazy himself. He had the ingenious revelation to use other people’s laziness as a business strategy. The reason for someone else’s success is that you are lazy.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing lazy. In fact, lazy people are the ones we should be proud of. Gary Vee gets his views on YouTube because of lazy people. Robin Sharma’s books are bestsellers because of lazy people. The fact that lazy people never do anything puts them on the better side of things. At least they don’t elect corrupt leaders. At least they don’t participate in gun violence and stupid rallies. They’re busy chilling at home, drinking beer, playing DOTA.
Lazy makes one average, and if what the self-help community says about comfort zones is true, then the average is comfortable. We are told that our addictions to comfortable leads to our downfall. I’d like to argue that comfortable doesn’t always mean the downfall. Sometimes being comfortable means knowing you already have enough. It means understanding that effort doesn’t always equal to happy outcomes. It means that the fox wasn’t a sore loser when he said that the grapes were sour, he was smart enough to accept the fact that he couldn’t reach the grapes and rationalized that they could have been sour anyway.
It takes a lot of effort to just chill lazily without a single fear of change, loss or process. Perhaps the definition of lazy has not properly been defined to us so far. Laziness is not comfortable, laziness is fear. The fear that if you go out to get some grapes, they’d all be sour. The fear that everything means nothing and eventually we’re all going to disappear. The fear that if you did the task that you’ve been procrastinating about, you’d become a whole other person and that could threaten your identity. The fear of going through the entire process of becoming something else or building something new. The fear that embracing change could mean giving up on so many things, losing so many things. The fear that is it all for nothing?
Fear isn’t bad either. Without fear, the world would be a much more dangerous place – fear instills caution which in turn saves lives. However, most of the fears that we have are often groundless. As much as the human species have evolved through the ages, our ability to think can sometimes put us in trouble. If a deer is attacked by a Cheetah during his morning bath by the lake, and he somehow manages to outrun the Cheetah, he wouldn’t be thinking about it until Saturday. But humans? As Seneca puts in “The Letters from a Stoic” – ‘We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.’ Not to make a joke of all your fears but it’s fairly irrational to conclude that they are real without observing them at a closer glance.
Being human comes at a price. The price of fear. Therefore it is our duty to observe them carefully and rationally and to smash them.
Breaking up, committing to someone, quitting an addiction, starting a hobby, learning something new, speaking to your crush, starting a business, writing that blog, all these tasks that we send off to Tomorrowland often stems out from the fear of change. The fear that if I quit smoking, I will never be able to feel relaxed again. The fear that if I commit to someone, it would come at the cost of my freedom. The fear that if I speak to my crush, I will ruin my image of a nice guy or girl. They seem so so real, but they are not. The problem is that they are all in the future, and therefore uncertain. This uncertainty causes the brain to come up with its own answers.
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”
In the Pick-Up Community, where men talk to random girls on the street to hopefully establish a connection, there is a concept called the ‘Three Second Rule’. ‘The Three Second Rule’ states that the person approaching a stranger must wait no longer than three seconds after seeing them. If one waits longer than three seconds, the brain starts to build up self-doubt, fear and unnecessary anxiety. Thus, heightening the effect of approach anxiety. Three Second Rule is the hack for the default mode of the brain, which is often always self-critical.
Fear is an illusion. Magicians use fear as a tool to shut off the rationalizing part of the spectators, so they are easily tricked into believing what the illusionist shows them. Fear flashes in front of our eyes and that are all we ever see. The villains of Scooby Doo are fine examples of people who used fear as an arsenal to trick people.
“Look beyond what you see.”
(The Lion King)
Not so long ago, there was a kingdom of wise men with an elected wise king who would rule them all. They soon found out that no one was competent and wise enough to rule the kingdom of wise men. So the wisest of them all decided that fear should rule them all.
People started wondering who fear was, for no one had ever seen him. People started telling stories to themselves and generations thereafter. The entire kingdom thrived peacefully as the unseen fear danced over their heads.
Freewheeling on impermanence.