How long is a long-distance relationship?

5 min read

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Okay, so first off no long distance is long enough to separate you. Of course! Isn’t that what all the love gurus, the love quotes and everyone who has ever been in love or has been in a long-distance relationship said? But I beg to differ, which means I’m going to say what they forgot to mention- the tiny fragment of information or fact that they forgot because they were too keen on sharing their happy ending. Okay, so there are two kinds of long-distance relationships.

1. When you stayed with that person for quite some time and now that someone is
going to some other place for some specific reason and you’re left behind. Or both
of you guys had to leave that place and go to different places for whatever
2. When you start a relationship that’s long distance i.e, you are in a relationship
with a person who is already far away from you.

First things first, let’s talk about the first kind that is when you’ve been with someone for quite some time and then had to separate for some reason. Damn, it is hard.

Basically you have already spent time with that person and now you are accustomed to having that person around so much that he/she has become a part of your daily life, just like a habit and then one day, bam! That person isn’t there anymore. Of course with the graciousness of developing technologies we have smartphones in our hands that allows us to be virtually present for each other and then there is Skype and other video calling apps to see each other. But is it compensating enough? There are times when out of habit you need that other person and that other one isn’t available and you start cringing, you feel that hollowness inside you, you just want to vent it and you act out of impulse and leave tons of voicemails and texts and what not, so that you
feel a bit better. But do you really? It gets worse when the other one is so helpless that in spite of wanting to give you the love and attention that you deserve he/she won’t be able to because of the situation. You start going through your old photos, revisit the places you guys have been too, read and reread the texts till to find an answer to “What the fuck went wrong?”. The worse starts when you start venting out the frustration on the other one. It all starts with sad emotional texts and slowly turns bitter and then you start calling each other names and find reasons to not like them anymore.

But the heart wants what it wants and it knows you’re attached, it knows your habits and hence you cannot leave. So you cling to every memory of both of you and then try to be fine in spite of the storm. But is it all worth it? The pain and hurt and the self respect that you’ve lost already in the game called love. Take a deep breath and think of how it ever felt to touch them, to share the secrets that you’d never thought you’d share with anyone else, to just sit and look at the depth of their eyes, to hold hands and walk, to share a bond that makes your heart quiver with a joy so profound that in spite of all the hurt is motivating you to hold on. Maybe, it is worth it.

The next comes the wait when you’re finally going to meet each other, that particular feeling when you know you’ll see that someone that your heart has been longing and aching for so many days will be physically with you. That sweet feeling, the goddamned butterflies by just the thought of it. Calendars are marked and outfits are chosen, you do everything to look perfect even when you know the other one is willing to love you even with all your flaws inside out. And when the day finally comes and you hold that person in your arms. That warmth you’ve been craving for, the warmth you’ve known, that particular place that feels like home.

Maybe the hurt and the pain is really worth it so hang on in there if you feel what I wrote because no love is a waste as long as you both trust and have faith in each other.

The very concept of a long distance relationship without meeting before has been
brought to us by the marvels of technology. Tinder, Facebook and so many other apps that has made dating and finding the right one so easy that it’s at your fingertips right inside your pocket modelled into a small gadget we call a cellphone and trust me when I say that “it is actually a miracle invention”. So, how does it feel to be in love with someone you’ve never met or seen? How does it feel to fall in love with a complete stranger from an entirely different place? Well, it isn’t different because after all it’s still love.

So, it starts with late night texts and all day long texting and calling and getting to know each other and somewhere you get so involved in this process that you start falling for the other person. You may have never met this person or seen them but you know all their habits. It’s like as if you have lived your life with them. They tell you their secrets, their likes, their dislikes, you know about the far far away cousin of theirs with a weird habit. Basically, you know everything there’s to know about that person and you share the same details with them too. You know them so much that you start completing each other’s sentences. You are completely smitten by their love and so is that person.

In a love story so sweet there has to a turbulence right? When and where does the hurt start? The hurt has started the moment you realise that you’re so addicted to your phone and talking to that person that you cannot concentrate in anything else, you need the miracle device with you all the time and you do have it and for some time both of you do. But when one of you has to run an errand or do something else that does not involve your miracle device and you cannot text back or receive calls the other one gets frustrated because they don’t have photographs and places to visit they don’t have the warmth of your hug to remember all they have is your attention that they remember which once upon a time was undivided and the warmth and the butterflies come to them
when you text back or when they hear your voice. So after a long day when you call that person and tell them you love them that is the feeling that jumps up their heart. But if you fail to do it the expectations kills them. The frustration, the wrath, then they start thinking and over thinking and think why they trusted you at the very first place, how could I have been foolish enough to lay my heart bare to someone I barely knew and haven’t known in my entire life is playing on repeat in their minds. Is it worth it? Is this hurt worth it? Think about the time when you made plans to meet that person and all the memories that you would create, of all the happiness his/her voice gave to you when you were sad. Of how you imagine holding that person for the first time of how you know so much about a person even before meeting them. That particular feeling that you feel when you think of all this and the happy ending you want your story to have maybe it is worth it. So hold on to your fantasies and your love because it is worth it maybe.

There is no conclusion as the feel called love is so underestimated yet overestimated at the same time.

There is no double negative here that makes it a positive neither is there
an opposite pole that attracts the other one. There is just this feeling, this weird and heavy feeling that gives you butterflies in your stomach and stones in your heart.

So hold on, cheer up, cling to the memories and never let the faith and trust die because all of this is worth it if you’re ready to believe in your love. Maybe your long distance won’t be long enough to tear you guys apart.

Your thoughts?